Twilight, for Me

As the sun rides its golden chariot towards the western horizon, as the greying sky quietly unfolds its myriad hues, gradually giving way to an all-enveloping darkness, my mind goes through a variety of emotions that take me through childhood memories, old and precious…

Twilight, for me, is a happy childhood memory of the short time spent in Manjallur, a small village in Palakkad, which holds my roots. My ancestral house, standing proudly beside the huge, magnificent Mananchira pond; the little Ayyappa temple on its banks; the reflection of the steadily burning temple lamp shimmering on the rippling waters; the fragrance of fresh sandalwood paste offered with flowers on green banyan leaves to the devotees; and the mystical chime of the big brass temple bell during the evening pooja…

To this day, twilight temple visits leave me with the same intense memories, and my mind feels utterly restful.

Twilight, for me, reminds me of the lonely evenings I spent as a child in a faraway boarding school, looking forlornly at the cold, grey sky, filled with longing for the proximity of my family. How I hated the Tamil devotional songs that blared from a nearby temple! Even today, those particular songs evoke in me a sort of melancholy that is hard to get over.

Twilight, for me, brings back memories of those bygone days when, under the watchful eyes of our grandmother, we would sit before the lighted nilavilakku and recite our prayers aloud. It was here that I was first introduced to the various forms of Gods and Goddesses through the colourful pictures that adorned the walls of the narrow corridor. On some evenings, our grandmother would tell us stories from the scriptures too, which undoubtedly nurtured my growing fascination with mythology.

Twilight, for me, is the sight of innumerable flocks of homing birds as they make their way in an orderly manner to destinations unknown. The inverted-V-like formation never fails to captivate me even today, as I tilt my head upwards and eagerly lap up the sight.

Twilight, for me, is also the overwhelming view of fire in the majestic ghats far away, leaving a bright golden line within the dark silhouette, gradually fading away into nothingness. It truly felt mysterious and enchanting to a young mind.

Twilight, for me, is total spirituality. It is a time when I feel the desire to be with myself and my thoughts… a time to recharge and re-energize… to introspect and make amends.

For me, it is the time when I am totally at peace with myself and the whole world.