Nirbhaya shouldn't have died in vain...

Nirbhaya is no more.

The people responsible for her death are still alive, protected by a system that seems, at times, to move painfully slowly while a grieving family is left to live with an unbearable loss.

There were, even then, questions about how justice would be delivered. Would clever lawyers find ways around the law? Would arguments about human error, insanity or circumstance somehow soften the consequences of what had been done?

And beyond this particular case was an even more disturbing reality: how often do we hear of assaults, rape, abuse and atrocities against women and children, only to move on after the initial anger has subsided?

Each day, as I read such news, I can't help feeling a mixture of shame and anger.

Why do we tolerate this?

The more I think about it, the more I feel that while stronger laws and swift punishment are necessary, laws alone cannot change the society in which such crimes take place.

We have to change ourselves first — our attitudes, our prejudices and our fear-filled minds.

We have to stop putting the victim on trial.

Too often, it is the woman who is questioned, judged and made to feel ashamed. What was she wearing? Where was she going? Why was she there? Could she have behaved differently?

Perhaps we should be asking very different questions.

Why did someone believe he had the right to hurt her?

Why do we still find ways to blame the victim rather than confront the person who committed the crime?

A woman who has suffered such an ordeal should not have to carry shame for the rest of her life. She needs understanding, support and the freedom to rebuild her life. Society should help her emerge from her trauma, not deepen it.

And we need to speak up — against the mistreatment of women at home, in the workplace and everywhere else. We need to teach our sons that respect is not optional. We need to teach our daughters that they have every right to demand that respect and to live their lives with dignity, without guilt or fear.

The Delhi incident sparked an enormous public outrage. For a while, the country seemed to have found its voice.

I remember hoping that this anger would not disappear with the headlines. I hoped it would become something deeper — a change in the way we think, the way we raise our children and the way we respond when women are mistreated.

Years later, that hope still feels unfinished.

Nirbhaya shouldn't have died.

But if her death is to mean anything beyond the terrible circumstances in which she lost her life, perhaps we must ensure that it continues to remind us of what we need to change.

Nirbhaya shouldn't have died in vain.