The Night Was Mine

It is way past midnight. The whole world around me is silent. All is calm and quiet, and here I am, standing beside the window of my room, looking out into the darkness ahead. Sleep seems to have eluded me tonight.

Lights are out. The neighbourhood is asleep. There is absolute silence all around me. I can see the silhouette of the huge mango tree, its leaves casting eerie shadows on the adjoining wall. My neighbour’s house, devoid of any light, stands aloof in the darkness. I can breathe in the cool, still air as I stand looking out of the window.

The night seems to be wholly mine, and I am aware of a deep sense of solitude as I stand there in my room, looking out into the all-enveloping darkness.

A lone speck of silvery light in the sky catches my attention — a tiny star, all alone, twinkling away merrily without a care in the world.

I have always found pleasure in watching stars, and for a long time I gaze at it as various thoughts keep entering my mind… some happy, some sad. Gradually, in tune with my breathing, I become aware of a deep stillness within me, and ultimately realise that, at this specific point in time, it is just me and that faraway star.

I keep staring at its steady flicker for a very long time, and slowly I am filled with a deep sense of peace and contentment… a feeling that I am complete.

Being alone can also be about enjoying loneliness.

Some childhood mythological stories are permanently etched in my mind, and the lone, twinkling star brings back vivid memories of Prince Dhruva, who meditated upon Lord Vishnu after he and his mother were ignored and cast aside by his father at the insistence of his stepmother, Suruchi.

My sensitive childhood heart had profusely grieved for Prince Dhruva while reading that particular story in Amar Chitra Katha. It just seemed so unfair for a small boy to be treated so badly by his father. But Lord Vishnu heard his prayers, granted him a boon, and he was made a star after his death… the Pole Star, or the Dhruva Nakshathram.

That was when I used to wonder if I too would become a star after my death. But then, as a child, death was too terrible and scary a thing to think about…

The night sky has rewarded me for giving it company this night by revealing a flock of white migratory birds flying in their typical formation.

What a beautiful sight!

I never knew birds migrated in the darkness. Wish I too could fly freely like them… to wherever my desires beckoned.

There could be something absolutely magical about a lonely, sleepless night.

I am reminded of the countless Enid Blyton books I read as a child — books filled with fantasies, fairies, magical elves and pixies who danced and partied in gardens, sitting on tiny toadstools, invisible to older human eyes.

Growing up has certainly taken a whole lot of magic from my life.

But I am glad that tonight, I got a chance to relive a little bit of those wonderful moments and rediscover the mysticism of a lovely, alluring night.

My eyelids are growing heavy and with a deep sense of happiness and gratitude, I bid goodbye to the little star which is still twinkling away in the lone night sky. I know my dreams are going to be happy tonight.